Act III

Scene I. Olivia's garden.

Enter Viola, and Clown with a tabor.

Vio. Save thee, friend, and thy music: dost thou live
by thy tabor?

Clo. No, sir, I live by the church.

Vio. Art thou a churchman?

Clo. No such matter, sir: I do live by the church; for I
do live at my house, and my house doth stand by the church.

Vio. So thou mayst say, the king lies by a beggar, if a
beggar dwell near him; or, the church stands by thy tabor,
if thy tabor stand by the church.

Clo. You have said, sir. To see this age! A sentence
is but a cheveril glove to a good wit: how quickly the
wrong side may be turned outward!

Vio. Nay, that's certain; they that dally nicely with
words may quickly make them wanton.

Clo. I would, therefore, my sister had had no name, sir.

Vio. Why, man?

Clo. Why, sir, her name's a word; and to dally with
that word might make my sister wanton. But indeed
words are very rascals since bonds disgraced them.

Vio. Thy reason, man?

Clo. Troth, sir, I can yield you none without words;
and words are grown so false, I am loath to prove reason
with them.

Vio. I warrant thou art a merry fellow and carest for
nothing.

Clo. Not so, sir, I do care for something; but in my
conscience, sir, I do not care for you: if that be to care for
nothing, sir, I would it would make you invisible.

Vio. Art not thou the Lady Olivia's fool?

Clo. No, indeed, sir; the Lady Olivia has no folly: she
will keep no fool, sir, till she be married; and fools are as
like husbands as pilchards are to herrings; the husband's
the bigger: I am indeed not her fool, but her corrupter of
words.

Vio. I saw thee late at the Count Orsino's.

Clo. Foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun,
it shines every where. I would be sorry, sir, but the fool
should be as oft with your master as with my mistress: I
think I saw your wisdom there.

Vio. Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with
thee. Hold, there's expenses for thee.

Clo. Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send
thee a beard!

Vio. By my troth, I'll tell thee, I am almost sick for
one; [Aside] though I would not have it grow on my chin.
Is thy lady within?

Clo. Would not a pair of these have bred, sir?

Vio. Yes, being kept together and put to use.

Clo. I would play Lord Pandarus of Phrygia, sir, to
bring a Cressida to this Troilus.

Vio. I understand you, sir; 'tis well begged.

Clo. The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, begging but
a beggar: Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, sir.
I will construe to them whence you come; who you are
and what you would are out of my welkin, I might say
'element,' but the word is over-worn. [Exit.

Vio. This fellow is wise enough to play the fool;
And to do that well craves a kind of wit:
He must observe their mood on whom he jests,
The quality of persons, and the time,
And, like the haggard, check at every feather
That comes before his eye. This is a practice
As full of labour as a wise man's art:
For folly that he wisely shows is fit;
But wise men, folly-fall'n, quite taint their wit.

Enter Sir Toby, and Sir Andrew.

Sir To. Save you, gentleman.

Vio. And you, sir.

Sir And. Dieu vous garde, monsieur.

Vio. Et vous aussi; votre serviteur.

Sir And. I hope, sir, you are; and I am yours.

Sir To. Will you encounter the house? my niece is
desirous you should enter, if your trade be to her.

Vio. I am bound to your niece, sir; I mean, she is the
list of my voyage.

Sir To. Taste your legs, sir; put them to motion.

Vio. My legs do better understand me, sir, than I understand
what you mean by bidding me taste my legs.

Sir To. I mean, to go, sir, to enter.

Vio. I will answer you with gait and entrance. But
we are prevented.

Enter Olivia and Maria.

Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain odours
on you!

Sir And. That youth's a rare courtier: 'Rain odours;'
well.

Vio. My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own
most pregnant and vouchsafed ear.

Sir And. 'Odours,' 'pregnant,' and 'vouchsafed:' I'll
get 'em all three all ready.

Oli. Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to my
hearing. [Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Maria.] Give
me your hand, sir.

Vio. My duty, madam, and most humble service.

Oli. What is your name?

Vio. Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess.

Oli. My servant, sir! 'Twas never merry world
Since lowly feigning was call'd compliment:
You're servant to the Count Orsino, youth.

Vio. And he is yours, and his must needs be yours:
Your servant's servant is your servant, madam.

Oli. For him, I think not on him: for his thoughts,
Would they were blanks, rather than fill'd with me!

Vio. Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts
On his behalf.

Oli. O, by your leave, I pray you,
I bade you never speak again of him:
But, would you undertake another suit,
I had rather hear you to solicit that
Than music from the spheres.

Vio. Dear lady,—

Oli. Give me leave, beseech you. I did send,
After the last enchantment you did here,
A ring in chase of you: so did I abuse
Myself, my servant and, I fear me, you:
Under your hard construction must I sit,
To force that on you, in a shameful cunning,
Which you knew none of yours: what might you think?
Have you not set mine honour at the stake
And baited it with all the unmuzzled thoughts
That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receiving
Enough is shown: a cypress, not a bosom,
Hides my heart. So, let me hear you speak.

Vio. I pity you.

Oli. That's a degree to love.

Vio. No, not a grize; for 'tis a vulgar proof,
That very oft we pity enemies.

Oli. Why, then, methinks 'tis time to smile again.
O world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
If one should be a prey, how much the better
To fall before the lion than the wolf! [Clock strikes.
The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.
Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you:
And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest,
Your wife is like to reap a proper man:
There lies your way, due west.

Vio. Then westward-ho!
Grace and good disposition attend your ladyship!
You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?

Oli. Stay:
I prithee, tell me what thou think'st of me.

Vio. That you do think you are not what you are.

Oli. If I think so, I think the same of you.

Vio. Then think you right: I am not what I am.

Oli. I would you were as I would have you be!

Vio. Would it be better, madam, than I am?
I wish it might, for now I am your fool.

Oli. O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
In the contempt and anger of his lip!
A murderous guilt shows not itself more soon
Than love that would seem hid: love's night is noon.
Cesario, by the roses of the spring,
By maidhood, honour, truth and every thing,
I love thee so, that, maugre all thy pride,
Nor wit nor reason can my passion hide.
Do not extort thy reasons from this clause,
For that I woo, thou therefore hast no cause;
But rather reason thus with reason fetter,
Love sought is good, but given unsought is better.

Vio. By innocence I swear, and by my youth,
I have one heart, one bosom and one truth,
And that no woman has; nor never none
Shall mistress be of it, save I alone.
And so adieu, good madam: never more
Will I my master's tears to you deplore.

Oli. Yet come again; for thou perhaps mayst move
That heart, which now abhors, to like his love. [Exeunt.

LINENOTES:

Olivia's garden] Pope. A garden. Rowe.

with a tabor.] Malone. meeting. Capell.

thy] F1. the F2 F3 F4.

sir: I do] sir: and yet I do Capell conj.

king] kings F1.

lies] lives Collier (Capell conj.).

had had] had Hanmer.

not thou] thou not Steevens (1793), corrected in MS.

pilchards] Capell. pilchers Ff.

[35, 97] Count] Duke Rowe.

orb ... sun] Ff. orb; like the sun Dyce.

an] Pope. and Ff.

expenses] sixpence Badham conj.

[Gives him a piece of money. Hanmer.

[Aside] Edd.

bred] breed Malone conj.

begging] Pope. begging, Ff.

construe] conster Ff. them] her Hanmer.

are] F1. is F2 F3 F4.

And] Ff. Not Rann (Johnson conj.). Nor Harness.

wise man's] wise-mans Ff.

folly that he] he that folly Badham conj.

wise men, folly-fall'n, quite taint] Capell (Theobald and Tyrwhitt conj.). wisemens folly falne, quite taint F1. wise mens folly falne, quite taint F2 F3 F4 (faln F3 F4). wise mens folly fall'n, quite taints Rowe (ed. 2). wise men's, folly fal'n, quite taints Theobald. wise men's folly shewn, quite taints Hanmer. wise men's folly, fall'n, quite taints Heath conj. wise men, folly-blown, quite taint their wit Anon. conj.

Sir Andrew] Andrew Ff.

Scene II. Pope. Sir To.] Sir And. Theobald.

[68, 70] Sir And.] Sir To. Theobald.

vous garde] vou guard Ff.

vous aussi] vouz ousie F1. vouz ausie F2 F3 F4.

votre serviteur] vostre serviture Ff.

Sir To.] om. Theobald.

Maria] Gentlewoman Ff.

all ready] Malone. already F1 F2. ready F3 F4.

[writing in his table-book. Collier (Collier MS.).

Let] Maria, let Capell conj. reading as verse.

[Exeunt....] Rowe.

Scene III. Pope.

You're] Y'are Ff.

I had] I'd Pope.

Dear] O dearest Hanmer.

lady,—] Theobald. lady. Ff.

Give] Nay, give Capell.

beseech] I beseech F3 F4.

enchantment you did here] Warburton (Thirlby conj.). enchantment you did heare F1 F2. enchantment you did hear F3 F4. enchantment, you did hear Theobald.

shameful] shame-fac'd Collier MS.

one of] om. Hanmer.

receiving] conceiving Mason conj.

[118-120] S. Walker arranges as three lines ending shown ... heart ... you.

cypress] Cipresse F1 F2 F3. Cipress F4. Cyprus Theobald.

Hides] Hideth Delius conj.

heart F1. poor heart F2 F3 F4.

me] us Rowe (ed. 2).

grize] F1. grice F2 F3 F4.

the better] better F3 F4.

is come] are come Pope (ed. 2).

[131, 132] S. Walker would end the lines west ... disposition ... ladyship.

attend] 'tend Steevens.

your ladyship] you Hanmer.

me?] Rowe. me: Ff.

I] om. Pope.

am?] Ff. am, Rowe (ed. 2).

[142, 143] beautiful ... lip!] Rowe. beautiful? ... lip, Ff.

thy] my Collier MS.

thy] 'wry Hanmer.

[157, 158] it, save I alone. And] it. Oli. Save I alone! Vio. And Hanmer.

Scene II. Olivia's house.

Enter Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Fabian.

Sir And. No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer.

Sir To. Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.

Fab. You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.

Sir And. Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to
the count's serving-man than ever she bestowed upon me;
I saw 't i' the orchard.

Sir To. Did she see thee the while, old boy? tell me
that.

Sir And. As plain as I see you now.

Fab. This was a great argument of love in her toward
you.

Sir And. 'Slight, will you make an ass o' me?

Fab. I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of
judgement and reason.

Sir To. And they have been grand-jurymen since before
Noah was a sailor.

Fab. She did show favour to the youth in your sight
only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, to
put fire in your heart, and brimstone in your liver. You
should then have accosted her; and with some excellent
jests, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the
youth into dumbness. This was looked for at your hand,
and this was balked: the double gilt of this opportunity you
let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north
of my lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicle
on a Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by some
laudable attempt either of valour or policy.

Sir And. An't be any way, it must be with valour; for
policy I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist as a politician.

Sir To. Why, then, build me thy fortunes upon the
basis of valour. Challenge me the count's youth to fight
with him; hurt him in eleven places: my niece shall take
note of it; and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in
the world can more prevail in man's commendation with
woman than report of valour.

Fab. There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.

Sir And. Will either of you bear me a challenge to
him?

Sir To. Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst and
brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent and full
of invention: taunt him with the license of ink: if thou
thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as
many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although the
sheet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England, set
'em down: go, about it. Let there be gall enough in thy
ink, though thou write with a goose-pen, no matter:
about it.

Sir And. Where shall I find you?

Sir To. We'll call thee at the cubiculo: go. [Exit Sir Andrew.

Fab. This is a dear manakin to you, Sir Toby.

Sir To. I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand
strong, or so.

Fab. We shall have a rare letter from him: but you'll
not deliver't?

Sir To. Never trust me, then; and by all means stir
on the youth to an answer. I think oxen and wainropes
cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were opened,
and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the
foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of the anatomy.

Fab. And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage
no great presage of cruelty.

Enter Maria.

Sir To. Look, where the youngest wren of nine comes.

Mar. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves
into stitches, follow me. Yond gull Malvolio is
turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no Christian,
that means to be saved by believing rightly, can ever believe
such impossible passages of grossness. He's in yellow
stockings.

Sir To. And cross-gartered?

Mar. Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps a
school i' the church. I have dogged him, like his murderer.
He does obey every point of the letter that I dropped to
betray him: he does smile his face into more lines than is
in the new map with the augmentation of the Indies: you
have not seen such a thing as 'tis. I can hardly forbear
hurling things at him. I know my lady will strike him: if
she do, he'll smile and take't for a great favour.

Sir To. Come, bring us, bring us where he is. [Exeunt.

LINENOTES:

Scene II.] Scene IV. Pope.

Olivia's house.] Rowe.

[5, 31] count's] Duke's Rowe.

upon] on Rowe (ed. 2).

thee the] F3 F4. the F1 F2. you the Long MS.

'Slight] F3 F4. S'light F1 F2.

I will] F1. I F2 F3 F4.

laudable] om. Rowe.

An't] Hanmer. And't Ff.

youth to fight] youth; go, fight Tyrwhitt conj.

with him] with you Ritson conj.

woman] women Hanmer.

curst] curt Grey conj.

go, about] Capell. go about Ff. and go about Rowe.

write] write it Rowe.

the] thy Hanmer.

Scene V. Pope.

Andrew] Sir Andrew Collier (Collier MS.).

and] an S. Walker conj.

nine] Theobald, mine Ff.

yond] yon' Capell.

heathen] a heathen S. Walker conj.

renegado] Rowe. Renegatho Ff.

is] Ff. are Steevens.

[Exeunt.] Exeunt Omnes Ff.

Scene III. A street.

Enter Sebastian and Antonio.

Seb. I would not by my will have troubled you;
But, since you make your pleasure of your pains,
I will no further chide you.

Ant. I could not stay behind you: my desire,
More sharp than filed steel, did spur me forth;
And not all love to see you, though so much
As might have drawn one to a longer voyage,
But jealousy what might befall your travel,
Being skilless in these parts; which to a stranger,
Unguided and unfriended, often prove
Rough and unhospitable: my willing love,
The rather by these arguments of fear,
Set forth in your pursuit.

Seb. My kind Antonio,
I can no other answer make but thanks,
And thanks; and ever ... oft good turns
Are shuffled off with such uncurrent pay:
But, were my worth as is my conscience firm,
You should find better dealing. What's to do?
Shall we go see the reliques of this town?

Ant. To-morrow, sir: best first go see your lodging.

Seb. I am not weary, and 'tis long to night:
I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes
With the memorials and the things of fame
That do renown this city.

Ant. Would you'ld pardon me;
I do not without danger walk these streets:
Once, in a sea-fight, 'gainst the count his galleys
I did some service; of such note indeed,
That were I ta'en here it would scarce be answer'd.

Seb. Belike you slew great number of his people.

Ant. The offence is not of such a bloody nature;
Albeit the quality of the time and quarrel
Might well have given us bloody argument.
It might have since been answer'd in repaying
What we took from them; which, for traffic's sake,
Most of our city did: only myself stood out;
For which, if I be lapsed in this place,
I shall pay dear.

Seb. Do not then walk too open.

Ant. It doth not fit me. Hold, sir, here's my purse.
In the south suburbs, at the Elephant,
Is best to lodge: I will bespeak our diet,
Whiles you beguile the time and feed your knowledge
With viewing of the town: there shall you have me.

Seb. Why I your purse?

Ant. Haply your eye shall light upon some toy
You have desire to purchase; and your store,
I think, is not for idle markets, sir.

Seb. I'll be your purse-bearer and leave you
For an hour.

Ant. To the Elephant.

Seb. I do remember. [Exeunt.

LINENOTES:

Scene III.] Scene VI. Pope.

A street.] Capell. The street. Rowe.

one] me Heath conj.

[15, 16] And thanks ... pay] Omitted in F2 F3 F4.

And thanks; and ever ... oft good turns] And thankes: and ever oft good turnes F1. And thanks: and ever oft-good turns Pope (ed. 1). And thanks: and ever-oft good turns Id. (ed. 2). And thanks, and ever thanks; and oft good turns Theobald. And thanks, and ever; oft good turns Steevens (1778). And thanks again and ever; oft good turns Rann (Tollet conj.). And thanks, and ever thanks: oft good turns Malone. And thanks, and ever thanks: often good turns Steevens (1794). And thanks, and ever thanks; too oft good turns Seymour conj. And thanks, still thanks; and very oft good turns Collier (Collier MS.). And thanks, and ever thanks; though oft good turns Lettsom conj. And thanks: and very oft good turns Grant White. And thanks, and thanks; and very oft good turns Id. conj.

worth] wealth Collier MS.

lodging] lodging? F1.

count his] Duke his Rowe. County's Malone conj.

people.] people? Dyce.

lapsed] latched Hunter conj.

[47, 48] you For an] Ff. you for An Theobald. As prose in Boswell.

Exeunt.] Ff. Exeunt severally. Capell.

Scene IV. Olivia's garden.

Enter Olivia and Maria.

Oli. I have sent after him: he says he'll come;
How shall I feast him? what bestow of him?
For youth is bought more oft than begg'd or borrow'd.
I speak too loud.
Where is Malvolio? he is sad and civil,
And suits well for a servant with my fortunes:
Where is Malvolio?

Mar. He's coming, madam; but in very strange manner.
He is, sure, possessed, madam.

Oli. Why, what's the matter? does he rave?

Mar. No, madam, he does nothing but smile: your
ladyship were best to have some guard about you, if he
come; for, sure, the man is tainted in's wits.

Oli. Go call him hither. [Exit Maria.] I am as mad as he,
If sad and merry madness equal be.

Re-enter Maria, with Malvolio.

How now, Malvolio!

Mal. Sweet lady, ho, ho.

Oli. Smilest thou?
I sent for thee upon a sad occasion.

Mal. Sad, lady! I could be sad: this does make some
obstruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; but what of
that? if it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very
true sonnet is, 'Please one, and please all.'

Oli. Why, how dost thou, man? what is the matter
with thee?

Mal. Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs.
It did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed:
I think we do know the sweet Roman hand.

Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?

Mal. To bed! ay, sweet-heart, and I'll come to thee.

Oli. God comfort thee! Why dost thou smile so and
kiss thy hand so oft?

Mar. How do you, Malvolio?

Mal. At your request! yes; nightingales answer daws.

Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness
before my lady?

Mal.'Be not afraid of greatness:' 'twas well writ.

Oli. What meanest thou by that, Malvolio?

Mal. 'Some are born great,'—

Oli. Ha!

Mal. 'Some achieve greatness,'—

Oli. What sayest thou?

Mal. 'And some have greatness thrust upon them.'

Oli. Heaven restore thee!

Mal. 'Remember who commended thy yellow stockings,'—

Oli. Thy yellow stockings!

Mal. 'And wished to see thee cross-gartered.'

Oli. Cross-gartered!

Mal. 'Go to, thou art made, if thou desirest to be so;'—

Oli. Am I made?

Mal. 'If not, let me see thee a servant still.'

Oli. Why, this is very midsummer madness.

Enter Servant.

Ser. Madam, the young gentleman of the Count Orsino's
is returned: I could hardly entreat him back: he
attends your ladyship's pleasure.

Oli. I'll come to him. [Exit Servant.] Good Maria,
let this fellow be looked to. Where's my cousin Toby?
Let some of my people have a special care of him: I would
not have him miscarry for the half of my dowry.

[Exeunt Olivia and Maria.

Mal. O, ho! do you come near me now? no worse man
than Sir Toby to look to me! This concurs directly with
the letter: she sends him on purpose, that I may appear
stubborn to him; for she incites me to that in the letter.
'Cast thy humble slough,' says she; 'be opposite with a
kinsman, surly with servants; let thy tongue tang with arguments
of state; put thyself into the trick of singularity;'
and consequently sets down the manner how; as, a sad face,
a reverend carriage, a slow tongue, in the habit of some sir
of note, and so forth. I have limed her; but it is Jove's
doing, and Jove make me thankful! And when she went
away now, 'Let this fellow be looked to:' fellow! not Malvolio,
nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing
adheres together, that no dram of a scruple, no scruple of a
scruple, no obstacle, no incredulous or unsafe circumstance—What
can be said? Nothing that can be can come between
me and the full prospect of my hopes. Well, Jove,
not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked.

Re-enter Maria, with Sir Toby and Fabian.

Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of sanctity? If
all the devils of hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself
possessed him, yet I'll speak to him.

Fab. Here he is, here he is. How is't with you, sir?
how is't with you, man?

Mal. Go off; I discard you: let me enjoy my private:
go off.

Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend speaks within him! did
not I tell you? Sir Toby, my lady prays you to have a
care of him.

Mal. Ah, ha! does she so?

Sir To. Go to, go to; peace, peace; we must deal
gently with him: let me alone. How do you, Malvolio?
how is't with you? What, man! defy the devil; consider,
he's an enemy to mankind.

Mal. Do you know what you say?

Mar. La you, an you speak ill of the devil, how he
takes it at heart! Pray God, he be not bewitched!

Fab. Carry his water to the wise woman.

Mar. Marry, and it shall be done to-morrow morning,
if I live. My lady would not lose him for more than I'll
say.

Mal. How now, mistress!

Mar. O Lord!

Sir To. Prithee, hold thy peace; this is not the way:
do you not see you move him? let me alone with him.

Fab. No way but gentleness; gently, gently: the fiend
is rough, and will not be roughly used.

Sir To. Why, how now, my bawcock! how dost thou,
chuck?

Mal. Sir!

Sir To. Ay, Biddy, come with me. What, man! 'tis
not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan: hang him,
foul collier!

Mar. Get him to say his prayers, good Sir Toby, get
him to pray.

Mal. My prayers, minx!

Mar. No, I warrant you, he will not hear of godliness.

Mal. Go, hang yourselves all! you are idle shallow
things: I am not of your element: you shall know more
hereafter. [Exit.

Sir To. Is't possible?

Fab. If this were played upon a stage now, I could
condemn it as an improbable fiction.

Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection of
the device, man.

Mar. Nay, pursue him now, lest the device take air
and taint.

Fab. Why, we shall make him mad indeed.

Mar. The house will be the quieter.

Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room and
bound. My niece is already in the belief that he's mad:
we may carry it thus, for our pleasure and his penance, till
our very pastime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have
mercy on him: at which time we will bring the device to
the bar and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But see,
but see.

Enter Sir Andrew.

Fab. More matter for a May morning.

Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it: I warrant
there's vinegar and pepper in't.

Fab. Is't so saucy?

Sir And. Ay, is't, I warrant him: do but read.

Sir To. Give me. [Reads] Youth, whatsoever thou art,
thou art but a scurvy fellow.

Fab. Good, and valiant.

Sir To. [reads] Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why
I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't.

Fab. A good note; that keeps you from the blow of
the law.

Sir To. [reads] Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my
sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat; that is not the
matter I challenge thee for.

Fab. Very brief, and to exceeding good sense—less.

Sir To. [reads] I will waylay thee going home; where if it be
thy chance to kill me,—

Fab. Good.

Sir To. [reads] Thou killest me like a rogue and a villain.

Fab. Still you keep o' the windy side of the law:
good.

Sir To. [reads] Fare thee well; and God have mercy upon one
of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better,
and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn
enemy, Andrew Aguecheek.

If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give't
him.

Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't: he is
now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by
depart.

Sir To. Go, Sir Andrew; scout me for him at the corner
of the orchard like a bum-baily: so soon as ever thou
seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, swear horrible; for
it comes to pass oft that a terrible oath, with a swaggering
accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation
than ever proof itself would have earned him.
Away!

Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. [Exit.

Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for the behaviour
of the young gentleman gives him out to be of
good capacity and breeding; his employment between his
lord and my niece confirms no less: therefore this letter,
being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the
youth: he will find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will
deliver his challenge by word of mouth; set upon Aguecheek
a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman,
as I know his youth will aptly receive it, into a most
hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury and impetuosity.
This will so fright them both, that they will kill one another
by the look, like cockatrices.

Re-enter Olivia, with Viola.

Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them way
till he take leave, and presently after him.

Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some horrid
message for a challenge.

[Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria.

Oli. I have said too much unto a heart of stone
And laid mine honour too unchary out:
There's something in me that reproves my fault;
But such a headstrong potent fault it is,
That it but mocks reproof.

Vio. With the same 'haviour that your passion bears
Goes on my master's grief.

Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture;
Refuse it not; it hath no tongue to vex you;
And I beseech you come again to-morrow.
What shall you ask of me that I'll deny,
That honour saved may upon asking give?

Vio. Nothing but this;—your true love for my master.

Oli. How with mine honour may I give him that
Which I have given to you?

Vio. I will acquit you.

Oli. Well, come again to-morrow: fare thee well:
A fiend like thee might bear my soul to hell. [Exit.

Re-enter Sir Toby and Fabian.

Sir To. Gentleman, God save thee.

Vio. And you, sir.

Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of
what nature the wrongs are thou hast done him, I know
not; but thy intercepter, full of despite, bloody as the
hunter, attends thee at the orchard-end: dismount thy tuck,
be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful
and deadly.

Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any
quarrel to me: my remembrance is very free and clear
from any image of offence done to any man.

Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you: therefore,
if you hold your life at any price, betake you to your
guard; for your opposite hath in him what youth, strength,
skill and wrath can furnish man withal.

Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he?

Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhatched rapier
and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private
brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement
at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction
can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre. Hob,
nob, is his word; give't or take't.

Vio. I will return again into the house and desire some
conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. I have heard of
some kind of men that put quarrels purposely on others, to
taste their valour: belike this is a man of that quirk.

Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself out of a
very competent injury: therefore, get you on and give him
his desire. Back you shall not to the house, unless you undertake
that with me which with as much safety you might
answer him: therefore, on, or strip your sword stark naked;
for meddle you must, that's certain, or forswear to wear iron
about you.

Vio. This is as uncivil as strange. I beseech you, do
me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my
offence to him is: it is something of my negligence, nothing
of my purpose.

Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this
gentleman till my return. [Exit.

Vio. Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter?

Fab. I know the knight is incensed against you, even
to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance
more.

Vio. I beseech you, what manner of man is he?

Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him
by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his
valour. He is, indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody and
fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any
part of Illyria. Will you walk towards him? I will make
your peace with him if I can.

Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one
that had rather go with sir priest than sir knight: I care not
who knows so much of my mettle. [Exeunt.

Re-enter Sir Toby, with Sir Andrew.

Sir To. Why, man, he's a very devil; I have not seen
such a firago. I had a pass with him, rapier, scabbard and
all, and he gives me the stuck in with such a mortal motion,
that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as
surely as your feet hit the ground they step on. They say
he has been fencer to the Sophy.

Sir And. Pox on't, I'll not meddle with him.

Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian
can scarce hold him yonder.

Sir And. Plague on't, an I thought he had been valiant
and so cunning in fence, I'ld have seen him damned
ere I'ld have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip,
and I'll give him my horse, grey Capilet.

Sir To. I'll make the motion: stand here, make a good
show on't: this shall end without the perdition of souls.
[Aside] Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as I ride you.

Re-enter Fabian and Viola.

[To Fab.] I have his horse to take up the quarrel: I have
persuaded him the youth's a devil.

Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants and
looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels.

Sir To. [To Vio.] There's no remedy, sir; he will fight
with you for's oath sake: marry, he hath better bethought
him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth
talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow;
he protests he will not hurt you.

Vio. [Aside] Pray God defend me! A little thing
would make me tell them how much I lack of a man.

Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious.

Sir To. Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the
gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with
you; he cannot by the duello avoid it: but he has promised
me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you.
Come on; to't.

Sir And. Pray God, he keep his oath!

Vio. I do assure you, 'tis against my will.[They draw.

Enter Antonio.

Ant. Put up your sword. If this young gentleman
Have done offence, I take the fault on me:
If you offend him, I for him defy you.

Sir To. You, sir! why, what are you?

Ant. One, sir, that for his love dares yet do more
Than you have heard him brag to you he will.

Sir To. Nay, if you be an undertaker, I am for you. [They draw.

Enter Officers.

Fab. O good Sir Toby, hold! here come the officers.

Sir To. I'll be with you anon.

Vio. Pray, sir, put your sword up, if you please.

Sir And. Marry, will I, sir; and, for that I promised
you, I 'll be as good as my word: he will bear you easily
and reins well.

First Off. This is the man; do thy office.

Sec. Off. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit of Count Orsino.

Ant. You do mistake me, sir.

First Off. No, sir, no jot; I know your favour well,
Though now you have no sea-cap on your head.
Take him away: he knows I know him well.

Ant. I must obey. [To Vio.] This comes with seeking you:
But there's no remedy; I shall answer it.
What will you do, now my necessity
Makes me to ask you for my purse? It grieves me
Much more for what I cannot do for you
Than what befalls myself. You stand amazed;
But be of comfort.

Sec. Off. Come, sir, away.

Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money.

Vio. What money, sir?
For the fair kindness you have show'd me here,
And, part, being prompted by your present trouble,
Out of my lean and low ability
I'll lend you something: my having is not much;
I'll make division of my present with you:
Hold, there's half my coffer.

Ant. Will you deny me now?
Is't possible that my deserts to you
Can lack persuasion? Do not tempt my misery,
Lest that it make me so unsound a man
As to upbraid you with those kindnesses
That I have done for you.

Vio. I know of none;
Nor know I you by voice or any feature:
I hate ingratitude more in a man
Than lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness,
Or any taint of vice whose strong corruption
Inhabits our frail blood.

Ant. O heavens themselves!

Sec. Off. Come, sir, I pray you, go.

Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth that you see here
I snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death;
Relieved him with such sanctity of love;
And to his image, which methought did promise
Most venerable worth, did I devotion.

First Off. What's that to us? The time goes by: away!

Ant. But O how vile an idol proves this god!
Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame.
In nature there's no blemish but the mind;
None can be call'd deform'd but the unkind:
Virtue is beauty; but the beauteous evil
Are empty trunks, o'erflourish'd by the devil.

First Off. The man grows mad: away with him! Come, come, sir.

Ant. Lead me on. [Exit with Officers.

Vio. Methinks his words do from such passion fly,
That he believes himself: so do not I.
Prove true, imagination, O, prove true,
That I, dear brother, be now ta'en for you!

Sir To. Come hither, knight; come hither, Fabian:
we'll whisper o'er a couplet or two of most sage saws.

Vio. He named Sebastian: I my brother know
Yet living in my glass; even such and so
In favour was my brother, and he went
Still in this fashion, colour, ornament,
For him I imitate: O, if it prove,
Tempests are kind and salt waves fresh in love! [Exit.

Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward
than a hare: his dishonesty appears in leaving his friend
here in necessity and denying him; and for his cowardship,
ask Fabian.

Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it.

Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again and beat him.

Sir To. Do; cuff him soundly, but never draw thy
sword.

Sir And. An I do not,— [Exit.

Fab. Come, let's see the event.

Sir To. I dare lay any money 'twill be nothing yet. [Exeunt.

LINENOTES:

Scene IV.] Scene VII. Pope.

Olivia's garden.] Capell. Olivia's house. Rowe.

he says he'll] say, he will Theobald.

[2, 3] bestow of him? For youth is ... borrow'd] bestow? for youth Is ... borrow'd of Badham conj.

of] on Pope.

[4,5] I speak ... civil] Printed as in Pope; as one line in Ff.

Where is] Pope. Where's Ff.

[7-10] Where is ... rave?] As prose in Pope; as three lines in Ff, ending madam ... madam ... rave? As three lines in Hanmer, ending madam ... possest ... rave?

He's] He is Hanmer.

very] om. Hanmer.

nothing] nothing else Hanmer, who reads lines 11-14 as four verses, ending smile; ... guard ... man ... hither.

in 's] in his Hanmer.

[Exit M.] Dyce.

I am] I'm Pope.

merry] mercy F2.

Re-enter M. with Malvolio.] Dyce. Enter Malvolio. Ff (after hither, line 14).

How] Ol. How F2.

ho, ho] F1. ha, ha F2 F3 F4. om. Capell, reading How now ... thou? as one line.

[Smiles fantastically. Rowe (smile. ed. I.)

[18, 19] Smilest ... occasion] As one line in Ff.

[20-25] Sad ... thee?] Printed as seven lines in Ff, ending sad ... blood ... that? ... true ... all ... man ... thee?

is] it F2. has it Capell.

Oli.] Mal. F1.

the sweet] that sweet Rowe (ed. 2).

meanest] meanst F1.

Thy] My Lettsom conj.

very] a very Rann.

Count] Duke Rowe.

[Exit Servant.] Capell.

cousin] uncle Rowe (ed. 2).

[Exeunt O. and M.] Capell. Exit. Ff.

Scene VIII. Pope.

tang with] langer with F1. tang Capell.

Jove's] God's Halliwell. Love's Grant White conj.

Jove] God Halliwell. Love Grant White conj.

Re-enter....] Capell. Enter T., F., and M. Ff.

Scene IX. Pope.

sanctity] sanity S. Walker conj.

How is't] Sir To. How is't Anon. conj.

private] privacy Rowe.

me] him Rowe.

do you] do you do F4.

an] Capell. and Ff. if Pope.

this] that F4.

let me alone with him] Omitted in F3 F4.

bawcock] F1 F2. havock F3 F4.

Ay, Biddy, come with me.] See note (xi).

Mar.] Fab. Anon. conj.

lest] F4. least F1 F2 F3.

will] well F2.

Scene X. Pope.

Ay, is't] Collier. I, is't? F1 F2. I, is't? F3 F4. Ay, is it, Boswell.

[Reads.] Rowe.

good] very good Rowe (ed 1).

to] om. Rowe.

sense—less] sence-lesse F1 F2. sense-lesse F3. sense-less F4. senseless Capell.

mine] thine Johnson conj.

If] To. If Ff.

bum-baily] bum-bailiff Theobald.

horrible] F1. horribly F2 F3 F4.

it comes] F1 F2. that it comes F3 F4.

Re-enter O. and V.] Collier (after line 184). Enter O. and V. Ff.

Scene XL Pope.

[Exeunt Sir T., F. and M.] Capell. Exeunt. F2 F3 F4. om. F1.

I have] I've Pope.

out] Theobald. on't Ff.

[196, 197] 'haviour that your ... Goes ... grief] 'haviour Your ... goes ... grief Capell conj.

Goes ... grief] Rowe. Goes ... greefes F1 F2. Goes ... griefs F3 F4. Go ... griefs Malone.

That honour saved] That honour (sav'd) F1 F2. That (honour sav'd) F3 F4.

Scene XII. Pope.

intercepter] interpreter Warburton.

sir; I am sure] Theobald. sir I am sure, F1 F2. sir, I am sure, F3 F4. sir, I am sure Rowe.

man] a man F3 F4.

knight] a knight Collier MS.

unhatched] unhack'd Pope. an hatcht Malone conj.

nob] nod Rowe (ed. 2).

Sir, no] No, sir, no Hanmer.

derives] drives F4.

competent] F4. computent F1 F2 F3.

him:] F1 F3 F4. him? F2. to him; Hanmer.

or] and Hanmer.

your sword] you of sword Anon. conj.

as uncivil] an uncivil Capell (corrected in MS.).

as to know] to know Capell.

[Exeunt.] om. Capell. See note (xii).

Re-enter....] Capell. Enter Toby and Andrew. Ff. Re-enter Sir T. with Sir A. hanging back. Collier (Collier MS.).

Scene XIII. Pope. Scene V. Dyce and Staunton.

firago] virago Rowe.

stuck in] stuck—in Johnson. stuck-in, Capell. stuckin Singer.

you] your F2.

hit] Rowe. hits Ff.

yonder] om. Rowe.

an] Theobald. and Ff. if Pope.

Capilet] Capulet Dyce.

[Aside] Theobald.

Re-enter F. and V.] Enter F. and V. Ff. om. Capell. Enter F. and V. unwillingly. Collier MS.

[To Fab.] Rowe.

take up] make up Anon. conj.

[To Vio.] Capell.

oath sake] oath's sake Capell.

scarce to be] to be scarce Capell conj.

[Aside] Capell.

Scene XIV. Pope.

[They draw.] Rowe. They go back from each other. Collier (Collier MS.).

Enter A.] Ff (after line 294). Enter A.; draws, and runs between. Capell.

[Drawing. Rowe.]

[They draw.] Edd. Draws. Rowe.

Enter Officers.] Enter two Officers. Capell. Enter Officers. Dyce and Staunton (after line 308).

[To Antonio. Capell.]

[To Sir Andrew. Rowe.]

[310-312] As two lines in Capell, ending suit ... sir.

Count] Duke Rowe.

[To Vio.] Collier.

[318, 319] do, now ... purse?] Dyce and Staunton. do: now ... purse. F1. doe? now ... purse. F2 F3 F4.

money] money back Capell, reading 323-325 as two lines, ending you ... sir?

Hold, there's] Hold, There's S. Walker conj.

there's] there is Hanmer.

now?] F3 F4. now, F1 F2.

Lest] F4. Least F1 F2 F3.

lying, vainness, babbling, drunkenness] Steevens (1793). lying, vainnesse, babling drunkennesse Ff. lying vainness, babbling drunkenness Rowe (ed. 2).

pray you, go] pray, go S. Walker conj., ending the line at little. pray you Lloyd conj.

speak] but speak Hanmer.

This youth] Why, this youth Hanmer, ending lines 342, 343 at speak ... here.

love;] Ff. love,— Capell. After this S. Walker supposes a line to be lost.

his] this S. Walker conj.

venerable] veritable Collier (Collier MS.).

vile] Pope. vilde F1 F2 F3. vild F4.

beauteous evil] beauteous-evil Malone.

The man] Surely the man Hanmer.

Come] 2. Off. Come Capell. This word begins a line in Ff.

with Officers.] Theobald. om. Ff.

we'll] Weel F1. Well F2 F3 F4.

O, if] so if Becket conj.

[Exit.] F2 F3 F4. om. F1.

a most] om. Hanmer.

'Slid] Od's lid Hanmer.

never] ne'er Hanmer.

An] Theobald. And Ff. If Pope.

not,—] Theobald. not. Ff.

let's] let us Hanmer.

any] om. Hanmer.

[Exeunt.] Rowe. [Exit. Ff.