42 — To John Hanson

Trin. Coll. Cambridge, Dec. 4, 1805.

Sir, — In charging you with downright

Duplicity

I wronged you, nor do I hesitate to atone for an Injury which I feel I have committed, or add to my Fault by the Vindication of an expression dictated by Resentment, an

expression

which deserves Censure, and demands the apology I now offer; for I think that Disposition indeed

mean

which adds Obstinacy to Insult, by attempting the Palliation of unmerited Invective from the mistaken principle of disdaining the Avowal of even

self convicted

Error. In regard to the other

Declarations

my Sentiments remain

unaltered;

the event will shew whether my Prediction is false. I know Mrs. Byron too well to imagine that she would part with a

Sous

, and if by some

Miracle

she was prevailed upon, the

Details

of her

Generosity

in allowing me part of my

own property

would be continually

thundered

in my ears, or

launched

in the

Lightening

of her letters, so that I had rather encounter the Evils of Embarrassment than lie under an obligation to one who would continually reproach me with her Benevolence, as if her Charity had been extended to a

Stranger

to the Detriment of her own Fortune. My opinion is perhaps harsh for a Son, but it is justified by experience, it is confirmed by

Facts

, it was generated by oppression, it has been nourished by Injury. To you, Sir, I attach no Blame. I am too much indebted to your kindness to retain my anger for a length of Time, that

Kindness

which, by a forcible contrast, has taught me to spurn the

Ties

of

Blood

unless strengthened by proper and gentle Treatment. I declare upon my honor that the Horror of entering Mrs. Byron's House has of late years been so implanted in my Soul, that I dreaded the approach of the Vacations as the

Harbingers

of

Misery

. My letters to my Sister, written during my residence at Southwell, would prove my Assertion. With my kind remembrances to Mrs. H. and Hargreaves,

I remain, Sir, yours truly,

Byron

List of Letters