A True and Faithful Inventory of the Goods Belonging to Dr. Swift, Vicar of Laracor. Upon Lending His House to the Bishop of Meath, Until His Own Was Built

An oaken broken elbow-chair;
A caudle cup without an ear;
A batter'd, shatter'd ash bedstead;
A box of deal, without a lid;
A pair of tongs, but out of joint;
A back-sword poker, without point;
A pot that's crack'd across, around,
With an old knotted garter bound;
An iron lock, without a key;
A wig, with hanging, grown quite grey;
A curtain, worn to half a stripe;
A pair of bellows, without pipe;
A dish, which might good meat afford once;
An Ovid, and an old Concordance;
A bottle-bottom, wooden-platter
One is for meal, and one for water;
There likewise is a copper skillet,
Which runs as fast out as you fill it;
A candlestick, snuff-dish, and save-all,
And thus his household goods you have all.
These, to your lordship, as a friend,
'Till you have built, I freely lend:
They'll serve your lordship for a shift;
Why not as well as Doctor Swift?

[Footnote 1: This poem was written by Sheridan, who had it presented to
the Bishop by a beggar, in the form of a petition, to Swift's great
surprise, who was in the carriage with his Lordship at the
time.—Scott.]